You Heard What?
by obsidians
Summary: Ranma's got a secret; have the Kunos' found out? One shot.


I don't own Ranma, he's just a rental.

Sid

Ranma waited nervously inside the dojo for his instructor to arrive. He was sure that any minute someone was going to walk in, even though that was impossible, everyone had gone to see a movie which Kasumi won free passes for and classes were never taught at this time of night.

He was afraid that someone would discover his secret and make his life miserable. Gods if people knew they would make his life a living hell! If only he didn't depend upon these sessions so much!

His lamentations were interrupted by a soft knock at the back door. He cautiously opened the door and whispered "who's there?"

"It's me Ranma" the other voice whispered back.

"Are you alone?" he asked hesitantly

"Yes" was the answer.

"Were you followed?" he asked urgently.

"No I borrowed Shampoo's bike and rode from rooftop to rooftop" was the reply.

Satisfied, Ranma pushed open the door and let Mousse in. "Sorry about the cloak and dagger routine, I don't want anyone to know about us" he said.

The Chinese boy pushed up his glasses and said "don't worry your secret's safe with me Ranma; I need this too. Now you need to get ready" he said gesturing towards Ranma's signature Chinese clothes. Ranma calmly started to remove his clothes and a second later, so did Mousse.

Meanwhile:

Kodachi sat listening through the mike that she'd installed in the dojo to monitor the comings and goings of the Tendo family, she cursed herself that she hadn't thought to wire it for picture as well as sound. She frowned slightly when she couldn't identify the other voice talking to Ranma.

"What are you listening to sister dear?" drawled her brother Kuno.

"None of your business" she snapped, wondering what he was doing in her room.

Kuno's ear perked up to hear Ranma's name mentioned by an unidentified voice. "You're listening to the Tendo family again. Kodachi didn't you swear to your therapist that you would forget about Ranma? It isn't healthy how you stalk him like this, you can't get tangled up in an OCD cycle again. Remember what happened the last time you liked a boy, I had to bribe his family not to take out a restraining order against you" he admonished with a frown.

"Don't be silly, Ranma loves me. You're just as bad with Akane Tendo and that wretched redheaded harlot!" she snapped back.

"Do not compare the purity of my two loves with your sick, twisted fantasies!" Kuno snapped back.

"How dare you!" she said and then they both stopped at what seemed to be the rustle of clothes being removed.

"Why would Ranma and his friend be taking off their clothes...together? Where is this being broadcast from?" he asked.

"The dojo" Kodachi said with a frown, something didn't seem right to her

**Mousse and Ranma**

"Here rub this into your skin, it helps make you limber" Mousse said handing Ranma a bottle of his own blended ointment.

"Sure thanks Mousse" Ranma said and proceeded to do so. He frowned when he couldn't reach parts of his back "do you mind?" he asked, indicating his back to Mousse.

"I'll do yours if you do mine" he teased.

"Sure" Ranma said and moaned when gentle heat seemed to kiss his skin. "It has a little heat in it" he observed.

"That just means its working" Mousse replied as he liberally covered Ranma's back while silently laughing as Ranma's moans increased. Mousse soon was moaning as the heat caressed him as well. It was very pleasant; like a warm sun was caressing them on a bright sunny day.

**Kuno and Kodachi**

"Mousse? What's he doing in the Tendo dojo with Ranma, they're hardly friends. What are _they _doing? What's causing them to moan like that?" Kuno said with a blush, Kodachi's face was flame red at the suggestive moans.

"They must be working out" she said firmly.

Kuno looked at her skeptically "I work out with a whole team of kendo enthusiast and _they _never sounds like a porno soundtrack" he pointed out.

"Some people sound different" she said primly. She blushed even deeper as Ranma and Mousse resumed their conversation

"Okay Ranma, enough tomfoolery, let's assume the first position. Just so you know, this time I'm not going to show you any mercy, I'm really going to make you stretch" Mousse cautioned.

Kuno's jaw dropped at this...and he got a nosebleed at what this implied.

"Bring it on" Ranma said with a challenge in his voice.

"Yes that's good, now hold your legs in position like that as long as you can" Mousse said. Ranma groaned in response.

Now it was Kodachi's turn for her jaw to hit the floor.

"You don't think that Ranma might be...homosexual do you?" Kuno asked, his eyes as wide at marbles.

"Nonsense my future husband is nothing if not manly" Kodachi snapped back and then blanched when Ranma groaned again.

"Oh Mousse this feels fantastic, but I'm not sure how much more I can take!" he cried.

"Just a little longer, 1.2.3. Okay, now get down on all fours Saotome" Mousse commanded.

Kuno and Kodachi both blushed and glanced at each other, she silently handed him a tissue for his copiously bleeding nose.

"Like this?" Ranma asked.

"Yes but your butt needs to be higher" Mousse's voice replied, causing Kodachi to gasp and Kuno to snicker.

"It can't be how it sounds" Kodachi snapped when Kuno opened his mouth.

"Perfect, now stay like that until I tell you to move" Mousse's voice instructed and then suddenly their moans joined...and filtered into the Kunos' disbelieving ears.

"Mousse this is amazing, I can feel it everywhere!" Ranma cried.

"Stay like that, it only gets better" Mousse moaned.

"Oh gods yes, what would I do without this?" Ranma moaned back.

"To think all this time I thought that Ranma was a threat to my relationships with Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Goddess, when it turns out that he bats for the other team! Bravo Ranma, celebrate your man love with pride!" Kuno exclaimed, silently clapping.

"My poor darling, has my love for him been so insufficient that he would seek another man's arms? I forgive you my love; experimentation is common when you're young. I won't hold this against you once we're properly married" Kodachi wailed.

"Ready to try something new?" Mousse's voice intoned.

"You want to continue? You're inexhaustible" Ranma panted.

"I could go all night Saotome. Now stand up, bend over, grasp your ankles and try to bring your chest as close to your knees as possible. Now how does that feel?" he asked.

"Like torture" Ranma's voice panted.

"Now just stay like that" Mousse's voice moaned back.

"That's it; I can't bear to hear another second of this!" Kodachi screeched and snapped off the sound.

"I think that they make a nice couple. It kind of sounded like Ranma was the girl in their relationship. What do you think Kodachi? What do you even give as a present at a gay wedding I wonder?" Kuno mused.

"Shut up and get out of my room" Kodachi screamed. "Never mention this to anyone. My darling Ranma will come to his senses soon and leave that wanton Chinese manharlot. How dare he lead my poor darling down that twisted garden path!" she shrieked, throwing a hula hoop at her brother's head.

He calmly ducked and coldly said "their secret's safe with me. I applaud love in every form and shall be there for them when they choose to come out of the closet" and walked out.

"Ranma why?" Kodachi wailed at the ceiling.

**Ranma and Mousse **

Both boys lay panting on the floor drenched in sweat.

"Wow I feel reborn" Ranma mused.

"I think I saw stars during that last position" Mousse said, pushing back his sweaty hair.

The both sat up wearing matching bicycle shorts.

Ranma examined his skin tight set, "you were right about these things, they really allow you to stretch" he commented.

"Next best thing to doing yoga naked and they allow for a certain degree of modesty" Mousse said with a grin. "Why are you so worried that people will find out that you're doing yoga?" he asked him.

Ranma hung his head down and then looked Mousse in the eye "only girls seem to do yoga, I'm afraid that people would make fun of me if they found out. It's the only thing that seems to relax me, so I kind of need this" Ranma explained.

"Hey I've been doing yoga since I was five; it's not only good for the body but highly relaxing as well. You'll thank me for introducing it to you that time we were stranded in that cave, while you're turning cartwheels when you're eighty. I was doing yoga to keep warm quite frankly when you asked me to teach it to you" Mousse admitted.

"And I thank you for it" Ranma said wiping himself off with a towel "for that and keeping my secret"

"Who am I going to tell? If I told Shampoo she'd insist on coming along to practice and wear some kind of skimpy leotard and drape herself all you. Believe me, I don't want that. Better to keep this private. Besides, it's nice to have someone to do this with" Mousse replied with a shrug.

"I agree, want to soak in the onsen and then go grab some food?" Ranma suggested.

"Sure, I have the day off. I have to wash my ears clean of the sex noises you make while doing yoga anyway" Mousse teased and gathered up his clothes. He laughed when Ranma hit him with his towel.

They strolled companionably down the street chatting; they'd declared a truce for these evenings, so it was almost like they were friends. Ranma tensed when Kuno stepped into their path.

"What do you want Kuno?" Ranma snapped, going into defensive mode.

Kuno looked at them, his eyes looked suspiciously moist. Ranma and Mousse just stared back at him, waiting to see what he wanted. They both gasped when he drew them into a tight hug; "I just wanted to let you know that your secret's safe with me and that I'm happy for you both" just as quickly, he released them and walked away with a happy smile on his face.

"What was that about?" Ranma asked in alarm.

"I have no idea" Mousse replied in an awed tone of voice.


End file.
